Hello Dear One,
How are you? Are you feeling okay?
How is the season of love treating you?
For me, I've been in my feels lately. That's actually where I tend to live. Some may say that it's not the most logical of places to reside but I would have to disagree, most of the time.
When I am well nurtured my feelings are THE way.
That doesn't mean there's not chaos and confusion and that logic isn't needed but...
I'm learning how to find serenity in the chaos of my feelings which reveals truth and direction.
Yesterday I was a mess, consumed by thoughts of the past and worries of the future,
I was forgetting the present of the present
and I was wisped away into a tailspin.
I used to become devoured in this place of fear and uncertainty honestly for decades, but now by the Grace of God I have a new way.
It starts with prayer and grounding techniques.
I start by asking God to lift my obsessions and I turn inward.
Inside there's a little child running barefoot and wild through the trees, sticks and mud and she needs the comfort of a loving mother.
A mother that will swoop her up from the forest,
clean her off, tuck her in and provide her a cozy place for her to rest and to be held.
She needs to feel grounded, centered and stable.
I've learned that I can be that mother, in fact I am the ONLY one that can.
Not a partner, not my children, not busyness, not food, not TV, not social media or any other addictions that lead me to disassociate.
Leaving my body to be temporarily comfortable is no longer an option for me...
because when I do, it becomes so incredibly painful and difficult to return.
So, I pray to God for sanity, so that I can return to peace in the midst of chaos.
For me there is no way back without God.
I ask that gentle mother to soothe me and show me what I need at that time. It may be breath, a pause, a stretch, a scent.
It may be something tactile like a soft blanket or just recently my son handed me a plastic lizard (with a bumpy back) and that did the trick!
Whatever it is I get centered and listen to what that inner child has to say, she is the deepest well of wisdom
and NEVER steers me wrong.
When her fear is clear, I can always trust her and where she will steer.
(a little cringy, I know but it's true)
She tells me when boundaries have been crossed, when I am tired and when I need attention.
When she feels ignored chaos ensues in literally all areas of my life but when she is nurtured her gift of guidance is promised.
She is patient with me and my tendency to neglect her but she will make it known when I have gone too far.
At this stage of my life I realized that she and God are the only ones that I can entirely trust.
This place that resides in me offers a comfort like thick, rich moss that spreads across the forest floor.
There is no other human being or thing in this world that can provide a soft landing and level of certainty like she can.
I trust her with my life.
Thank you so much for reading!
I would love for you to share your wisdom with me and your inner child's dreams if you wish!
Bee Well, Bee Loved,
Love, Brandi Mae